My devoted personal assistant, Gretchen and I (plus her entire freakin' family, who wants her to marry me) arrived a few days early for "Mister Toast's First Annual Christmas Tea," so we could get in some sightseeing.
A few days ago, Gretchen's "Uncle Kris Von Grüber," (the only one that can speak any English) approached me and said the family band wanted to play music outside at the party, for the enjoyment of the guests. He said, "We like Herr Skipster. We want to make his friends, our friends!"
I tried to tell him it was a "Christmas Tea," and not "Oktoberfest," but he wouldn't listen! He said the family had already purchased all the airline tickets, including Gretchen and myself!!!
To make a long story short...
Here's our plane landing in Aspen.
Gretchen's damn family "entertained" all the passengers on board, with that damn German "Oompah Music" for the entire trip! Here's a sample of what I had to sit through for three and one-half hours!
At the hotel, Uncle Kris Von Grüber slipped me $500 and whispered, "Take our Gretchen to a real nice meal."
Here's Gretchen and I in front of the fine restaurant we dined in. Her family went off in search of the local Lutheran Church. I dearly hope it's not to discuss a wedding!
Here's Gretchen making like a "snow bunny" outside our hotel. She can be adorable, when she wants to be...
And... here's a short video, with Gretchen's family giving a free charity performance (to raise money for a shelter for battered women, no less,) at the Lutheran Church Hall, which is all they wanted to do. For the time being anyway...
I later heard that they raised over five thousand dollars that night! I must admit. I was impressed! It's getting harder to dislike this bunch!
Gretchen, The "Kris Von Grüber Happy Oompah Band," and yours truly "The Skipster," will see you at the Tea Party, on December First!