Wednesday, November 4, 2009

An Open Letter to the Skipster

(Well, I was going to post Part Two of "How It All Began" -- and I will, just not yet -- but after seeing Skip's last post on his half of the blog...!)

"Dear" Skipster:

Can't leave well enough alone, eh?

How dare you accuse me of stealing the Foxster SnL One? And as for that video... uhhh... I was... uhhh... misquoted. Yeah. Misquoted. And... and...

Ahhh, who am I trying to kid? Of course I stole it, and with the help of little ol' "Bambie" -- a/k/a "Cath" -- no less! So? What are you going to do about it, huh? Walk to Massachusetts from Alabama? Yeah, right.

Anyway, as for your little challenge... "WTF" indeed! (By the way, Mr. Expert, I'm pretty sure it's not "Wrestle That Fella," it's "Wrestle That F***er!" Just sayin'.)

I don't know much about modern TV wrestling matches, but thinking back to the earlier, happier time-killing days of our acquaintance -- like, when our partnership was thriving consisted of my making you look good, I remember some wrestling stars from the ollllld days, and came up with this:

You've always thought you were such a macho guy, you should be the Macho Man himself, Randy Savage! Ha!

But who could I be? Someone even more popular, obviously... (Hm. Did any wrestler ever do a "Zorro" riff? No matter.) Since I'm such a comic book fan, maybe I could be the Hulk... meaning Hulk Hogan, of course.

Some challenge! Like I'm worried. I'm not in the greatest of shape, but I'm still able to beat the likes of this:
Heh. I'm gonna kick your @$$... Dude!

(And to anyone else who sees this... Thanks for your time.)


  1. Foxster... or Hulkster... whatever name you're calling yourself these days! You think you can scare me (with obviously badly doctored photos)? I'm ready to meet you in the ring, for the "Turkeys In The Ring" competition only on the WTF!!! And maybe... just maybe... I'll slip the ring announcer a few extra sheckles to announce you as "The Foxster".... bwahhahhaha!!! Just beware, Foxster! I know where you live... and I know what you love...

  2. Love? Me? Good luck with that! What are you gonna do, rent an 18-wheeler and hijack my 8 million books, CDs, DVDs, and records? Ha! More empty threats!

    Gotta run. I'm flying MY jet to France to see a certain young lady...

  3. Just remember... I know your weaknesses... and good luck flying that T7 over the ocean, with the two cooked engines that you seemed to fry when you stole that plane (did you notice the smoke, and the sparks)! Anyone ever tell you to monitor those two itty biity gauges, and keep the N1 under 95%? No... of course not. You pushed the throttles to the panel, and held on for dear life!!! You'll probably go down somewhere over Newfoundland... and all we'll have is a cockpit voice recording repeating, "Oh my God!!!"

  4. You should be so lucky! So I'm not the greatest pilot. I only just completed my Pilots Expedited Training Assignments course -- or "PETA" for short -- so I could get the plane back. (The teachers were kind of touchy. Every time I called the study guide a "crash course," they got upset.)

  5. Newfoundland? I LOVE Newfoundland's the are huge, hairy, black, have webbed feet and save humans.

    Okay, so at first I was worried last week when I read of your break up. And then confused. And did you guys break up to improve ratings? A publicity stunt? I saw an episode of Boston Legal in which Alan defends a lesbian couple who have publicly broken up to increase revenue but privately consumate their relationship.

    I sniff familiarity here...I hope.

  6. I can't stand his guts. The Silver Fox is a doo-doo head!!!

  7. Sometimes, when I have had a tad too much ale, I think that Simpson and Lynch are just two different expressions of the personality of just one person.

  8. I agree with Alan. :)
    AND.... the Hulk? I thought he was going to say "Gorgeous George" - but then, he's probably too young to remember that BTW, how am I ever going to finish my own next story if I keep getting distracted by these two (one?) smarty-butts?

  9. @AngelMay: I'm too young to have seen Gorgeous George wrestle, but I know a lot about him.

    @AngelMay and Alan: Skip and myself, the same person? Ohhhh, nonononono. Whatever fictional goofiness we concoct on this site -- like attending Willow's Manor Ball, or our Peter Gunn pilot film with Ben Affleck -- we are very definitely two separate people, partners for about eight years, who fell out of touch with each other roughly four years after that... until recently. But two different people. Promise.

  10. oh my...going to scrub my eyes...with brillo pads...

  11. Ha ha! The Skipster gonna get you back! You see!