Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Entertaining At Mr. Toast's First Annual Christmas Tea!

(Bings crystal glass softly)

May I please have your attention, ladies and gentlemen? On this fabulous occasion, I would like everyone to stand, raise their glasses, and join me in toasting our esteemed friend, Mr. Toast, while at the same time, remembering the upcoming Holiday Season. Let us hope that this event, will be the first of many more in the years ahead.

"Mister Toast, it is said that a man with friends is blessed. Tonight we have seen very many of your friends, which must mean you are truly blessed! We thank you for holding this event. I think I speak for all of us here, who are enjoying a lovely time... who all wish you good luck, good fortune, and good health in the future."

And, in the words of Groucho Marx...

"Here's champagne to our true friends...
and true pain to our sham friends."

And finally, in the words of Sir Walter Scott...

"Heap on more wood! The wind is chill.
But let it whistle, as it will.
We'll keep our Christmas merrier still."

Salute! Thank you, everyone!

(Gretchen shyly gives Mr. Toast a friendly hug, and whispers in his ear, "Frohe Weihnachten, Herr Toast!" )

(Skip sits at piano. Both Skip and Gretchen donning dark sunglasses.)

Thank you very much. And thank you, Gretchen for that fine interpretive dance! I'll have to admit, she's a lot more fun than that horrible "Cammie" person, I brought to "The Willow Manor Ball!"

(Looks around)

Speaking of my devoted "personal assistant"... where did she go??? As my friend and writing partner, David M. "The Foxster" Lynch (who by the way sends his regrets that he couldn't make it tonight) would say, "Dude!!! Where's my secretary???"

Anyway, Miss Gretchen Von Grüber... whom I believe is wearing yet another Stella McCartney creation, has promised "something special," in honor of Mr. Toast, and all you wonderful people.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have NO idea what it is... and... and...


And, she has... just reappeared... in a completely different... hairstyle?!?

Hmm... Okay... I must admit, it looks rather nice...

Now she's handing me some sheet music, and pointing me towards the piano, with that "pretend stern look" she does around the studio...

(Bows formally to Gretchen, who can't help but crack a little smile.)

Well, folks... THIS is going to be interesting, as I KNOW she hardly speaks any English!

(Skip sits at piano. The lights dim. Gretchen nervously steps up to the microphone.)










NOW, I know why she kept listening to that Linda Ronstadt album over and over again, for the last two weeks! You sounded amazingly just like her! Thank you Gretchen! That was outstanding!

(Gretchen beams)

Last but not least, if you direct your attention to the huge video screen descending from the ceiling... here's something guaranteed to get everyone into the Holiday Spirit!

I proudly present, Celtic Woman... featuring my favorite, the always-ebullient Chloë Agnew! (She's the one in the pink dress.)

(And I just know, that when my best friend and writing partner, "The Foxster" first sees this, he's gonna say, "Forget Chloë Agnew! I wanna see more of the girl with the fiddle!")

And a very Merry Christmas Season, to you and yours!


  1. Well, now I am impressed. That Gretchen is full of surprises as are you...

    Lovely Toast there Skip...Here! Here!

  2. Thank you Rebecca. It was a pleasure meeting you!

  3. Well, Gretchen is incredibly talented, isn't she? WHAT a voice. Wow. And thank you Skip for playing the piano so well. I loved every bit of it. Truly, you have to be the funniest blog guest anyone could bring over.

    I must say, I'd like to raise my glass to Skip for an extraordinary evening of merriment. And Gretchen, thank you for the flower. Very sweet of you indeed.

  4. And thank YOU, Mr. Toast! The pleasure was all ours! As a shameless plug, I'd like to add, you can see the further adventures of Gretchen and myself over at Simpson/Lynch Studios (look under Gretchen's picture on my sidebar). Hope you like it, and subscribe!

  5. Magnificent piano playing! Who knew tea parties could be so much fun! Wonderful seeing you there!

  6. Skip, what a fantastic toast! You are one amazing guy full of wonders and delight! You were definitely the center of the party. :)

  7. Clink, clink! Yes, a perfect toast to Mr. Toast!

    It was a splendid evening! So great to see you, Skip...and Gretchen! We'll reminese (SP?) tomorrow....

  8. Outstanding, partner! So sorry I could only visit the action via internet surfing & the comments sections.

  9. Skip you're very clever. I think I want to be an Avatar . . a piano playing avatar . . .

  10. Yellow roses are a favorite of mine. Danke schon, Gretchen. Are you any relation to Kelly Gruber? He used to play third base for the Blue Jays. Do you sing "Someone to Watch Over Me"? I love Gershwin.
    The tea was fabulous last night, especially after Alan arrived. It was fantastic you were able to rescue him Skip, all the way from Sweden! I hope you and Gretchen enjoyed some of the salmon. The videos were fun! thank you both!

  11. Thank you all! I'm so happy you enjoyed this. I really enjoyed creating it!!!

  12. Good morning! I see you made it up and are still kicking! ;) You really did help bring this party to life. Your ability to make us all laugh is incredible.

    I got alot of q's about opening up my blog, so I have now. I archived all my previous posts, and am starting new. Hope you will join me.

    It was a great pleasure meeting you.

    ((humbly bows)) :D

  13. Lizzie, I visited and signed up! Thank you for your compliments!