Friday, December 25, 2009

Your Official Invitation to the Grand Opening of "Kewl Beanz!"

Kewl Beanz! Is Opening and We Want You There!

Your chance to RSVP!

Mark your calendars for the FIRST EVER Blogger Event sponsored by Simpson/Lynch Studios! You and your guest are formally invited to the GRAND OPENING of "KEWL BEANZ!"

Our commercial... produced by the Skipster for a total cost of three dollars and forty-seven cents...

Kewl Beanz! is more than just a coffeehouse for progressive free thinkers! It's also a venue for international performers of all types, with two fully-stocked bars (on two separate levels) that'll make any drink in the world that you want, a large wine cellar, and the only Six-Star-Rated restaurant in Alabama... or the world, for that matter!

Enjoy the warm brick decor and beautiful works of original art... the soft glow of candles on your table, as you dine from a menu featuring items sure to satisfy any culinary urging... or you might want to partake of our unlimited buffet and free drinks all day long! (By the way, I've just been informed that the Amuse-Bouche for that evening will be a large broiled Stuffed Portabello Mushroom with Minced Stems, Chopped Parsley, Pimento, Garlic, Green Onions, and Parmesan Cheese, sautéed in white wine. Yum!)

For a better look at the menu, please
right-click on it to open it in a much
larger form, in a new tab or window!

Unwind on the dance floor, as you twirl with your partner to music of any and all varieties! Feel like getting up and sharing some poetry with us, to appreciative finger snaps? Be our guest, and trot on up to our "open mike" stage, Daddy-O!

Date: Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Time: 5am-Midnight (CST)
Place: 330 Main Street, Pleasantview, AL

Formal Attire Is Requested.

Book your flights early into Montgomery Regional Airport. Your Social Director for the event (and yours truly), Ms. Tara King, will happily greet you upon your arrival! (You'll recognize me by the dark purple blazer, the miniskirt, and the whistle around my neck; I'll be bouncing up and down, waving wildly, and carrying a clipboard. I'll recognize you by the lost looks on your faces as you emerge from the jetway.)

Then, you'll be comfortably whisked in a 24-passenger stretch limousine by Kato, our Transportation Captain, to the Pleasantview Country Club and Spa, where your stay and all amenities will be absolutely FREE! (Tipping is encouraged, though; Simpson/Lynch Studios won't cover that. We have to set some financial limitations, after all!)

A variety of free transportation will also be provided (from a horse-drawn carriage to a helicopter) to bring you and your date safely to your grand entrance on our Red Carpet!

Inside, you will be greeted by our smiling and friendly cocktail servers, with trays of Dom Perignon champagne, and displays of hors d'oeuvres of caviar, seafood, and other savory treats demonstrating our Southern Hospitality. The Skipster and Gretchen, along with the Foxster and me (after I'm done picking up the last of the guests), will greet you personally! My BFF Gretchen will also be presenting all the ladies with her trademarked long-stemmed yellow roses!

Please be advised that this will be the biggest thing to hit the tiny town of Pleasantview since the Civil War! We won't be at all surprised if bleachers are put up across the street so that the local townsfolk can gawk and applaud as you arrive! (Note: If you have a problem with the hordes of paparazzi that will be on hand, we can arrange to whisk you in discreetly through a special entrance.)

Please submit your RSVP by signing our guestbook. And please help us in promoting this "once in a lifetime event" by placing our cute little sidebar icon, with a link to our site, on your own blogs. Feel free to post announcements, updates, and the like on your blog as well! Show us what you're wearing (Gretchen and I have to do some serious shopping!), and tell us who you're with! Thank you!

Finally, on the actual day of the Grand Opening, pop in to this site often, as we will be having constant updates throughout the event, as well as updates to our satellite sites!

Hope to see a lot of you there!

Gosh... this is soooo exciting!

Carpe diem, cats and kittens!


  1. I'll be there. Of course... I HAVE to be there!

  2. Interesting! I make no promises, but I will definitely make an attempt to be there!

  3. i will definitely think about

  4. Caffeine and mushrooms? Count me in!

  5. Aww, Ronda!!! Our first guest! We'll make sure you're treated like a queen by the staff! You want a bottle of Dom Perigon all to yourself? You got it!!!

  6. You have big shoes to fill after Willow and Mr. Toast, but I believe you will easily be able to throw an amazing party, Mr. Skip! Count me in...wouldn't miss it! :)

  7. Hi, Betsy! Glad you signed on for the fun! (And gee, The Skipster's getting a lotta credit around here for "our" event. I'd better get my own P.R. guy, pronto!)

  8. Let's Swing, Daddy-O.

    Kewl Beanz is the coolest place
    To shake your booty and show your face.
    Run by those two hipsters, never call Them square,
    Foxster and Skipster make quite a pair.
    Backed up, of course by the rest of the crew,
    Tara, Gretchen and Kato too.
    The food is to die for, the booze is first rate.
    Better get there early to get through that gate.
    I'm off to do shopping, to find my best look.
    Who knows, maybe I'll finally hook
    The man of my dreams, if not, who cares.
    I'll still be enjoying a night most rare.
    So jump in your car, take a plane, boat or train.
    An opening like this won't be happening again.

  9. You had me at 'two fully stocked bars'

  10. Thank you so much for signing up already. Tara and I are jumping for joy! I hope English is better so I talk with you.

  11. A pleasant time in Pleasantview is guaranteed for all!

  12. I don't have a clue what I'm doing...

  13. AngelMay... you're in good company. Neither do we!

  14. Umm, wait, confused here. YOU are going to wear a mini skirt? did i ge that right? Err..what kind of "formal dress" were you thinking, Foxster?

    I will enjoy figuring out who would like to hang out at this beatnik place with me. Any colunteers? :)

    Can't wait.

  15. @...mmm...: ME? In a DRESS? The post was put up by Tara. She'll be in a sedate, professional outfit for the guests' arrival, but she borrowed my debit card when shopping for the formal gown she'll be wearing that evening. By the way, congratulations on being the first guy to sign up!

  16. Oooooo! Mister Toast is going to be there! I hope my English improved so we talk, ja?

  17. Free food. Did I hear free food? How could I say no?

    Well, I guess I could say "no" easily, it isn't a difficult word. Even Gretchen could say "no", if she's sufficiently far along in her English class; but, like her, why would I?

  18. Looking forward to seeing you there, Barry! Thanks for signing up!

  19. How sad. The real world will see me in San Juan Del Sur (wherever that is) on the day in question. Otherwise wild horses wouldn't keep me away.

  20. @Alan: Speaking on behalf of the entire SnL staff, your presence will be sorely missed. San Juan Del Sur sounds like a good place to escape from the winter weather your part of the world is suffering from, and as as far as "wherever that is" goes... Isn't that in Sweden?

  21. Sweden! Oh hell. Why do I keep making these mistakes? Why have I booked a holiday in Sweden in the middle of an Ice Age

  22. oh, that is to funny as its real.

  23. Sounds fun! I lived in Montgomery for 2 years back in the early seventies. Haven't been back since. I'll post your icon on my sidebar...

  24. Hey Hey Hey....I just gave your party a shout out on my blog! Looking forward to it. :)

  25. should do another special post to remind everyone this is event is about to happen!!!! :)

    PS What time is SNL picking me up?! (bats her lashes) :D

  26. @Lizzie: Hmm... The little ad at the bottom of every single post hasn't been enough? ;-)

    I'm sure you noticed that we mentioned you by name a few days ago, and you'll be mentioned again in the rather surprising post we have planned for this morning. We couldn't forget you, nor the others who've signed up for the event! Can't wait for you to add your own contribution while we post three or four updates throughout the day on Tuesday!

    Now, as for your pick-up time, it looks like you're gonna be the SnL's sole passenger, so any time you want us to arrive between Monday afternoon and the wee, wee hours of Tuesday morning, we'll be there! We'll make sure you're comfortably situated at the Pleasantview Country Club and Spa, and if you get to try the breakfast menu at Kewl Beanz!, I highly recommend the "Hangtown Fry," although it's admittedly an acquired taste!

  27. Silver Fox...looking forward to thr Grand Opening tomorrow! I hope to be arriving early Tuesday morning. The country club & spa sound very appealing & We hope to have breakfast at Hangtown Friday. See you soon!

  28. We've arrived and just enjoyed breakfast. Thanks for the great suggestions on accomodations. Flew in on commercial flight, but at least we flew first class : ) The limo ride was luxurious. Will post wardrobe soon.

  29. @LadyCat: Wow, I'm impressed. You obviously missed a sleeping Tara at the airport, and beat the rest of us to Kewl Beanz! for breakfast! Good thing we hired extra limos and kitchen staff, and told them all to be on the lookout for our internet guests.

    Our first official post of the day is up now, by the way, so you'll be able to leave additional comments if and when you so desire.