Friday, January 29, 2010

Gretchen's Diary

Liebes Diary,

Ich bin in liebe... nein!!!

I mean NO! Tara says I must keep practicing writing English. Start over.

Dear Diary,

I am in love with the most wonderful man in the world, and he asked me to marry him last night!!! Ach du lieber, I thought I would faint!!! All my dreams of a wonderful future have come true! I feel like princess in fairy tale!

It was wonderful party at Kewl Beanz! It was so nice seeing Betsy, Lizzie, Betty, Ronda, Barry, LadyCat, and Bachelor. I really enjoy seeing my buddy Mister Toast again! I made him tea when we come flying back from Denver. My drinking buddy Alan was on vacation, so he couldn't be there.

Of course, biggest surprise was at end of party, when Skipster got on one knee and asked me to MARRY HIM!!! No one was expecting that! My best friend Tara couldn't speak for twenty minutes! Ha ha. Of course I said, "YES!!!" I never knew he cared for me the way I care about him. People were hugging and congratulating us. Lizzie told me she would love to sing at wedding!

When we get back home, there was two dozen red roses from him, a big plastic balloon shaped like a heart that said, "I love you," and this brand new private diary with my name on it, that I'm writing in for very first time. Skip said, "Well, Tara keeps a journal. Maybe now you can, too." My silly mind was already racing with wedding plans. Tara will be my maid of honour, of course. And I'm sure Skip will ask Mister Foxster to be his best man. Uncle Kris will give me away. I want Mister Toast to be our head usher...

I couldn't stop looking at my beautiful ring...

Suddenly, Skip said something that sent a cold chill down my back!

He said that reporters will now all want interview with me. Oh NO!!!

I have never told Skipster this.

I was already married once before! A long time ago in Germany.

My mama and papa were killed in car accident the night before my twelfth birthday. My Uncle Kris and his family adopted me, and taught me how to play many musical instruments. I would also sing with their band. When I was teenager, I met Friedrich while we were performing in Berlin. I thought he was so handsome. I fell in love! My family said I was making mistake, but I disobeyed and moved in with Friedrich in a very small apartment. We were married two weeks later. At first it was very nice, but then he started changing...

He would get drunk, and come home and be mean to me. First he would yell, then one night he slapped me, saying I had cheated on him! I had NEVER done anything like what he said! He started hitting me more and more. I would put on heavy makeup and wear sunglasses so my Uncle Kris wouldn't see. I learned how to lie, and make excuses.

Then I found out I was pregnant. Oh, how I LOVED that baby inside me! My name, "Gretchen" is German for English version of "Margaret." Saint Margaret is patron saint of expectant women. I always wanted a little one of my own! I thought that maybe after our baby was born, Friedrich would change.

Instead, during my pregnancy, he got worse and worse. Then came that horrible night. He hit me around our apartment, opened up the door and pushed me down a flight of stairs.

When I woke up in hospital, the doctor said that he was sorry. My dear baby was gone...

He also said there was a very good chance I could never get pregnant again.

My heart was broken.

When my Uncle Kris finally figured out what had happened, he marched right up the stairs to our apartment, kicked in the door and threw Friedrich down those same stairs! Then he dragged him out onto the street, kicking and punching him all the time, and calling him very bad names in German!

Uncle Kris took me back in, and Friedrich and I got divorce. Friedrich also got time in jail, after his two-month stay in hospital. Uncle Kris, his family and I decide to move to America, and we settle in South Dakota for ten years or so, where band was very popular. We toured all over United States. I also started eating a lot and gaining weight, which is why I probably did not have boyfriend. Many men in America do not like women who are "pleasingly plump."

One night I see on satellite TV, German Entertainment Show that said famous writing partners in America had split up. Then I saw HIS face for the first time. It was a very kind and gentle looking face. Also somewhat sad. He had long black hair that swept across his forehead. He said (with German subtitles) he was looking for a "Personal Assistant." I did not know what that was, but it sounded important. Even if I not get the job, I still wanted to meet the Skipster. I told Uncle Kris that I wanted to try to do something on my own. Uncle Kris being very protective now, did some checking up on Skipster. He found out that the Skipster had a very good reputation as a gentleman.

He also said that he read in "Peeps" Magazine, that next to Tom Hanks, Skip was known as one of "the nicest guys in Hollywood." Uncle Kris went on to say that the Skipster didn't hang out a lot in Hollywood, but preferred to personally fly his private jet back to his studio in Alabama, where he would occasionally host a few friends at private parties. Finally my uncle said, "And it appears that Mister Skipster recently wrote a huge check to The Alabama Coalition Against Domestic Violence.


Uncle Kris bought me two-way bus ticket to Pleasantview, Alabama. To hide my weight, I wore one of the purple costumes I used in the show. I was the first one Skip talked to, he smiled at my costume, didn't act as if he noticed my weight, and he hired me right there, even though I could only manage a few words of English, and we both had to use my little flash cards to communicate! I was SO thrilled! I also met Kato and Tara, who have both become my best friends.

Our first group picture:

Ha ha. I think back on that picture now. Tara (who can speak German) told me to "Lighten up and lose the braids."

I told her back, "I will, if you lose that yellow miniskirt."

We both laughed, and been best friends ever since.

When Skip's writing partner Foxster came back, I was kept on the staff. Tara started teaching me English.

Oh, dear diary! Those wonderful months of working next to Skip, and going to wonderful parties as his escort!

Our first picture together at big party that Mister Toast had. I was so nervous, but everyone make me feel comfortable:

I would gaze into Skip's large, soft brown eyes, and admire that he never seemed to lose his temper, or have a bad word for anyone. When we would come back to Alabama, I would lie alone on my bed in my room, and write "Skip," over and over on pieces of paper... like a schoolgirl. I would fall asleep with his name clutched in my hand. When I would wake up the next morning, his would be first name I see. And like Uncle Kris had said... he was always the perfect gentleman! Extremely courteous, very professional, and always respectful of me. He never ever tried any "funny business." I never told him about Friedrich and my baby, because in truth, that subject had never come up.

I found that Skip is very good at keeping secrets to himself. If people say something to him in private, he will never blab it all around. He would make a good spy. I am the same way. But I did tell Tara about my past. And I just know she would never tell the Foxster.

But when Skip told me reporters wanted to find out more about me, I panic!!! I told Tara about it. Tara told me I should (as she said), "Come clean, and tell him NOW! When reporters start digging around, your past will come out like Joe The Plumber!"

OH!!! What if Skip gets mad that I never told him? Right now I am SO scared!!! I wouldn't blame him if he called off engagement! What if he thinks I am virgin?

Okay. Must stop shaking.

I must be honest with him. He's in his bedroom now. Going to knock on door, and walk in and tell him the whole story. Oh, dear diary. Oh, dear God. Wish me luck...



  1. You have nothing to fear, dear. I hear Mr. Skipster does not look kindly on men who abuse women. It sounds like you are in really good hands now. I wouldn't be surprised if he already knew about your past. You will be fine! :)

  2. Dear Gretchen

    A man who would take the chance
    Of asking that question
    At the end of the dance,
    Would surely be one
    Who could realize
    That one mistake should not make
    You less in his eyes.

    Tell him.

  3. Nicest man in Hollywood...or anywhere for that matter! :)

  4. @Betsy: And what's the Foxster? Chopped liver? ;-)