Saturday, January 23, 2010

Hot Water!

Scene One

The large "rec room" of Simpson/Lynch Studios, where, among other things -- such as the pinball machine, swimming pool, bar, jukebox, etc. -- the hot tub is located. It is mid-afternoon.

The Foxster enters, clad in black slippers, black swimtrunks... and dark sunglasses. He is carrying a large black towel. As he nears the hot tub, the Foxster sees that Vickie Wickie is in it already, at the far end, seated so that only her head and shoulders are visible above the waterline.

Foxster: Oh, hi, Vickie!

Vickie (cheerfully): Hi, yourself, Foxster! Boy, this water feels great... and it'll be so nice to have some good-looking company.

The Foxster gets into the hot tub. Vickie moves a little closer to him. He begins to speak, but then looks at Vickie below the water's edge and immediately -- and obviously -- becomes uncomfortable.

Foxster: Uhh, Vickie... This would probably be a good time to mention that our hot tub and swimming pool are not what they call "clothing-optional."

Vickie (feigning shock): Oh, dear! I'm so sorry! (She immediately climbs out of the hot tub. She is completely naked. She stands there briefly, making absolutely no attempt to cover herself.) My clothes are over there... (In a stance which can only be described as a "pose," Vickie points to the wicker lounge chair situated roughly between the jukebox and Kato's workout equipment.) So's my towel. I'll throw that on! (With an exaggerrated sway and bounce, Vickie all-too-slowly walks toward the lounge chair, before inhaling deeply and turning back to face the hot tub, with her shoulders slightly thrust backwards.) I sure hope I didn't...

The Foxster is gone.

Vickie: Ohmigod, is that freakin' guy whipped, or what?

* * * * *

Scene Two

The Foxster's bedroom, only a few moments later. The Foxster enters, closing the door behind him. Tara is on the bed, lying on her left side, reading a romance novel.

Tara: Done already? Wow, that was quick!

Foxster: Uhhh... yeah. (There is a long pause as the Foxster stares at Tara, who has resumed reading. Finally, she looks up at him as he stands there.)

Tara: What.

Foxster: It's none of my business, of course, but have you ever thought about getting a boob job?

Tara (laughing): No! Absolutely not! Why on earth would you ask that, anyway? I thought you didn't like them. (laughing again) Boob jobs, I mean, not my...

Foxster (interrupting): I don't. I hate boob jobs, pretty much. (pause while Foxster thinks of Vickie) Just curious. (pause) Good. Don't.

Grinning, Tara shakes her head and goes back to reading.

* * * * *

Scene Three

The Pleasantview home of Milo Fenderbender, early evening. Milo enters through the front door, and walks into his living room, on his way to the kitchen. He stops abruptly. Vickie is sitting on the couch, reading an issue of Women's Wear Thursday which she has brought from home.

Milo (cheerfully, albeit somewhat sarcastically): Vickie! What a delightful surprise. Been a while, hasn't it? (dropping the friendly facade) How the hell did you get in here? It's not like I have a doggie door, or anything...

Vickie: Ha-freaking-ha. Cool it with the wisecracks, Milo. The lock hasn't been made that can keep me out. You should know that by now. Anyway, did you get my little present the other day?

Milo: You mean, the envelope full of glossy photos? I knew they were from you! Yeah, of course I got 'em. Who are all those jokers?

Vickie: Who are they? Ohmigod, didn't you read my notes on the back of them?

Milo: Notes?

Vickie: Holy...! Go get them, you idiot! (Milo goes to his desk, and removes the envelope from the top drawer. He takes out the five photographs, and looks at the back of each. When he's done reading, Vickie speaks.) Okay, I'll make this short. Those five "jokers" are my latest project. You've heard of Simpson/Lynch Studios, of course...

Milo (matter-of-factly): No.

Vickie (exasperated): No? Haven't you been reading the local papers?

Milo: Not lately. I've been... rather busy.

Vickie: Doing what? (brief pause) Never mind, forget I asked. (pause) The first two, also known as the "Skipster" and the "Foxster," have been funneling a small fortune into the Pleasantview economy. And there's a lot more money where that came from. Which is where I come in, obviously.

Milo: Obviously. But, seriously... "Skipster" and "Foxster?"

Vickie (nodding): Two over-grown boys, hob-nobbing with the rich and famous. (brief pause) I've already gotten a job there, as their Executive Assistant. Easy enough, when every other application conveniently disappears...

Milo: Same old Vickie. What's the plan?

Vickie: Pretty basic. I figured I could replace one of the two girlfriends. My initial target was the Foxster, since he seemed more accessible. You know the type: Creative, emotional, heart worn on his sleeve...

Milo: In other words, a born sucker.

Vickie: That's what I thought. But today, I overheard him telling his little chickie-poo he was going to take a soak in their hot tub, so by the time he got there, I was waiting for him. Stark naked. (Milo whistles appreciatively.) To make a long story short... he turned chicken and took off while my back was turned.

Milo: He resisted a chance at you?

Vickie (nodding): Too afraid to cheat on his pathetic lady love, I assume. So now my plan is to move in on the Skipster. He's much more businesslike, but on the plus side, he seems rather indifferent to the blonde Kraut bimbo who's obviously infatuated with him. (long pause) So, are you in? Plenty of money to spare if you find a way to help grease the wheels.

Milo: No thanks, Vickie.

Vickie: No?

Milo: No. But I wouldn't mind nailing that short-haired chick...

Vickie: Good luck. She's the Foxster's property.

Milo: Like that'd stop me.

Vickie: You'll have your chance Tuesday night. They're throwing a big bash for the grand opening of Kewl Beanz!

Milo: "Kewl Beanz!"?

Vickie: You haven't even heard about that? (pause) It's a coffeehouse with delusions of grandeur, you might say.

Milo: Coffeehouse? Like in the old beatnik days of the '50s and '60s? Sounds like it could provide a few laughs. Do I need an invitation, or is it an open thing?

Vickie: That's the beauty of it, for you, anyway. It's a closed event, supposedly, but everybody in Pleasantview has an open invitation.

Milo: Heh. I'll be there.

Vickie (rising): Just don't be stupid enough to hang around me.

Milo: Wouldn't think of it. (Vickie walks by Milo on her way to the front door.) Oh, one more thing, Vickie...

Vickie (turning back): What's that?

Milo: Do I have to start calling you "the Vickster," now?

Vickie (coldly): You do, and I'll cut your frigging heart out.

Milo (chuckling): To quote Casablanca's Captain Renault, "That is my least vulnerable spot."

Vickie (smiling grimly): You and me both, Milo. You and me both. (Vickie exits.)

To Be Continued...

* * * * *

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5 comments:

  1. I agree with AngelMay. Looking forward to Tues.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ummm...this is gogin to be a very intersting party. I will have to tel my date to avoid the hot tub! LOL.

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  3. @Mmm: Well, although the official grand opening of Kewl Beanz! ends at midnight, or thereabouts, our internet friends -- and not the Pleasantview residents who'll be there, too -- are invited to take the limo back to see the SnL Studios. So if you and your date -- can't wait to see who you'll bring -- decide to make the trip, the hot tub's safe, don't worry. We have plenty of swimsuits to supply you with! Unfortunately, most of them have polka-dot patterns, for some reason...

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  4. That sly, slithering sister of Satan. I just knew she'd hit on Foxster first (he's my fave).
    She may think she's all that and a bag of chips,
    But we all khow better. Horray for Foxster.

    ReplyDelete