Silver Fox here. Heads up, fellow babies! I say "heads," because today's new WHO'S WHO in PLEASANTVIEW post contains profiles of a fur-head, an airhead, a dyed head, and a d**k-head! You've been "warned."
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Orson the Cat -- Orson is the Foxster's over-fed pet, approximately four years old in "human" years. During the Skipster/Foxster feud, the Skipster actually had Orson "kidnapped" from Massachusetts to Alabama by Luke Tian. The Foxster jetted down to Simpson Studio, in a vain attempt to reclaim his beloved pet. This resulted in a chance meeting between the Foxster and Tara King. Tara was immediately attracted to the Foxster's handsome face; he in turn was immediately attracted to the legs revealed by her mini-skirt. Soon after, Tara impulsively spirited Orson away from Simpson Studio, and the two of them arrived shortly thereafter at the Foxster's bachelor pad in Massachusetts. (And the rest, as we've said before, is history.) Sometime later, the coffee-drinking cat was viciously kicked by the newly-employed Vickie Wickie. Orson suffered two broken ribs which caused a traumatic pneumothorax. Luckily, keen observation by Luke Tian, who subsequently rushed Orson to Pleasantview Animal Hospital, saved Orson's life. He's currently healthy, happy, and presumably well-fed in the Foxster's new home... but he sorely misses Tara.
Carla the Receptionist -- Carla, last name unknown (probably even to her), is the receptionist at Simpson/Lynch Studios. She is somewhere in her forties, and is rumored to have relocated to Alabama from New York City. Carla was hired after an evidently-lackadaisical screening process conducted by both the Skipster and the Foxster. Her work "skills" are debatable; she rarely gets two messages correctly in a row. Carla speaks in a monotone and has an exasperating habit of identifying herself fully each time she calls the Skipster or the Foxster via the studio intercom system ("Mr. Skipster? This is Carla, from downstairs." "Yes, Carla, we know where you are.") and has a penchant for both herbal teas and what she refers to as... umm... "herbal cigarettes."
Barry Cabana -- Born Barnard Cavanaugh over sixty years back, Barry is a fading singer/entertainer. He was one of the Foxster's earliest employers almost fifteen ago -- albeit for only a few weeks -- and the Foxster feels indebted to Barry to this day for the various lessons he learned from the singer. Barry's voice is nowhere near as good as it was when he was at the pinnacle of his career, ten to thirty years ago, when he was known far and wide as "Mr. Broadway." He has had at least three face-lifts, and although his hair's current natural color is chalk-white, he dyes it black with what he self-mockingly describes as "shoe polish." Barry "comes on" as being arrogant, sexist, and abrasive, but those traits all hide a massive insecurity and a realization that he is well past his prime. In a softer, charitable moment, Barry took in Pleasantview's sole homeless individual and allowed the man to stay with him at Simpson/Lynch Studios... whereupon the two men drank excessively and "trashed the place."
Dewey Mellen -- It is often said that every town needs one good newspaper. Unfortunately, Pleasantview has Dewey Mellen's Pleasantview Poop Sheet instead! "Dashing Dewey," as he -- and only he -- calls himself, was an English teacher and the advisor to the yearbook staff at Pleasantview High School until a few short years ago. (If you're wondering how competent he was while there, he not only listed the senior class members' redundantly-titled "future goals," but also headed the school's "Edgar Alan [sic] Poe Society!") After several of what Dewey himself has described as "lonely, overweight, and unpopular female students" complained to school officials about Dewey's unnerving attempts at "reaching out," he was asked to resign, whereupon he began devoting all of his time to Pleasantview's only newspaper (which Dewey had inherited from his late father). Dewey serves as its Editor-in-Chief, staff reporter, and advertising director. Dewey is undeservedly egotistical -- he understandably "struck out" more than once when asking Dr. Jane Kildeer for a date, for example, and now believes she simply doesn't care to date any man his age -- and is extremely sloppy when fact-checking his articles for the Pleasantview Poop Sheet. Only his page five local gossip column, Dewey's Doings, appears without need for later corrections of misspellings or goofs of a similar nature... and that's only thanks to his own mother, who proofreads Dewey's Doings, but not the rest of the paper. In other words, putting it much more succinctly... Dewey's an idiot.
Coming Soon: A special "All in the Family" post in Part Five of WHO'S WHO in PLEASANTVIEW!
Thanks for your time.