Coming Soon: Season Two of Pleasantview begins for real!!!
Monday, August 30, 2010
Coming Soon: Season Two of Pleasantview begins for real!!!
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Scene: GLOBE outpost. Pleasantview, Alabama. The morning after the day before. Or something. Our intrepid agents are assembled in the conference area, and enjoying the forty-seven cases of expensive champagne... compliments of GLOBE HQ.
We eavedrop on the Skipster and Buffy.
Skipster: Buffy, I really would like to see you again.
Buffy: Likewise. But...
Buffy: (sighs) Look. You realize as well as I do that in your position, if you were seen with me, the tabloids would want to know, "Who's that girl on the Skipster's arm?" at such-and-such movie premiere. They could dig, and dig, and ultimately blow my cover... not to mention GLOBE's.
Skipster: You really are wise beyond your years...
Buffy: Skip. My career comes first. I'm sure you can understand that.
Skipster: So... if we do see each other, we're going to have to be realllly sneaky.
Buffy: Hey. We're spies! That part should come easy!
Skip: Sounds like pizza and movie nights at my place.
Buffy: I'd like that.
They smile at each other. We eavesdrop on Slate, Kittridge and Mr. Winter.
Slate: Let me get this straight. You saved Professor Roy Hinkley's life? He's an idol to me! He was like Zefram Cochrane to my Geordi La Forge!
Slate: Star Trek reference.
Kittridge: Never watched it...
Winter: I worked with Roy back in the old days. He was quite the genius in coming up with new and unusual hardware. He was a good friend. I'm sorry I missed out on seeing him again.
We eavesdrop on Glory and the Skipster.
Glory: So, how much does your drunken friend remember about all this?
Skipster: The Foxster? I'm afraid he was too drunk to remember anything... not that he was in any shape to comprehend it anyway. Looks like GLOBE's secrets are safe.
Glory: Did you ever find out why he happened to be in Louisville?
Skipster: (shrugs) All he would say was, "I needed to see a man about a horse."
Mr. Winter clinks his glass.
Winter: Attention, everyone. Miss Buffy Pleasant would like to make an announcement.
Buffy: Hey, y'all. In honor of the man who not only helped save the world, but also captured Bruno Drake in the process, I stayed up all night to make this cake. The inscription reads, "To A Great Guy." This is for Agent Kitt Kittridge!
Glory: Never knew you had it in ya, Sparky!
Kittridge: (matter-of-factly) You never asked.
Buffy takes the cover off the cake. All that's left are crumbs.
Winter: Oh, dear! That cake was for him?
Later, as Glory pulls Mr. Winter aside...
Glory: Mr. Winter... I have a confession to make...
Winter: You want to tell me that all this time, you were also assigned to keep tabs on our little operation and report to the powers-that-be?
Glory: (astonished) Yes! How did you...?
Winter: Standard operating procedure within the organization. Don't forget, I've been around a long time.
Glory: Then you should know that because of your quick thinking, you not only helped save what could have been a deadly situation, but you also protected GLOBE's cover in the process. And that's what I wrote in my report. (smiling) And thus, the champagne delivery.
Winter: I learned a long time ago that people will believe whatever you want them to believe. Life itself can be an illusion. My nephew is an amateur magician. He knows about things like that.
Glory: Is your nephew in Great Britain, or does he live here, as you do?
Winter: Oh, he's right here in the states. As a matter of fact... (indicating Kittridge) he's right over there.
Glory looks astonished.
Glory: (dumbfounded) Kitt Kittridge... is your NEPHEW???
Winter: I figured it was time to get him out of jail, and put him to use where his talents would be utilized for the common good. (pause) Now, let's see how good you are at keeping that secret between us, shall we?
Mr. Winter hoists his glass of champagne.
Winter: (loudly) To a great staff! May all our futures be bright!
Kittridge: And "God bless us, every one!"
There is a pause as everyone looks at Kittridge. Then, for the very first time, everyone laughs at his wisecrack.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Skipster: Ohmigod! It's the Doomsday Clock!
He is about to squeeze the trigger when he hears the unmistakable sound of Mr. Winter's soothing voice emanating from the P.A. system.
Mr. Winter's Voice: Barry. (pause) Barry. (Barry halts, and looks up, mystified.)
Barry: Who is that?
Mr. Winter's Voice: It's the Lord, Barry.
The audience, who assumes that this is a scheduled part of the show, begins to laugh. Barry, who now thinks this is a last-minute addition to the show, smirks and begins to play along.
Barry: (chuckling) And what is it I may do for you, oh Lord?
Mr. Winter's Voice: I command thee to bring out your special guest!
Suddenly the crowd goes wild as the Foxster comes staggering out onstage, totally drunk.
Skipster: Omigod! The Foxster!!!
Foxster: (looking around) I wanna see th'speshull guest...
As the spotlight swings over, the Skipster hurridly holsters his weapon, smiles and waves to the audience. Barry motions for the Skipster to approach the podium, and the Skipster slowly begins walking toward it. Offstage, Glory, Slate, and Buffy are trying to comprehend this weird spectacle, when Kittridge runs up to Slate, out of breath.
Slate: Of course I do! It's right here! (Slate produces the device from his jacket pocket.)
Kittridge: Take it apart!
Kittridge: Just take it apart, damnit! There's no time to explain!
The sudden roar of the crowd causes them to look up, as the four members of Cheese 'n Onions walk angrily onto the stage. Barry, who believes this is still part of the act, leans into the microphone.
Barry: Ladies and gentlemen! Let's have a big welcome to Mike Rotch as Dirk McQuickly, Jacques Strapp as Ron Nasty, Hugh Jass as Stig O'Hara, and Stu Pedasso as Barry Wom! Cheese 'n Onions!!!
The crowd roars. Mike Rotch angrily grabs the key out of Barry's hand. Jacques Strapp grabs the microphone, and glares at Mike Rotch.
Strapp: (mockingly) "Have Barry do it!" Oh, great plan there, Mike! We're gonna do this like we'd orginally planned it, and to hell with any of ENEMA's ransom demands! (to the audience and television cameras) We really hate you all. (The crowd, thinking he's doing his "Ron Nasty" impression, cheers.)
Slate: (to Kittridge) Okay! It's apart! Now what?
Kittridge: The guy who helped invent this thing told me something...
Mike Rotch grabs the microphone from Jacques Strapp.
Rotch: He's right! We hate you all! (The crowd cheers. Hugh Jass grabs the microphone from Mike Rotch.)
Pedasso: Listen! I'm Stu Pedasso! You can believe me! (The crowd cheers.)
Kittridge: (to Slate) And that little red button on the circuit board is the trigger!
The band members look at each other, then suddenly run toward the clock with Mike Rotch brandishing the key. The Skipster begins to draw his gun, but is stopped short by Mr. Winter's booming voice.
Mr. Winter's Voice: Let them go, Skipster! (pause) And by the way... duck and cover!
The Skipster is momentarily confused, but quickly regains his sense of discipline, honed by years of military -- and GLOBE -- training. He grabs both Barry and the Foxster by their collars, and with one swift kick, he knocks the bulletproof plexiglass podium over. He manages to wrestle every one of them to safety behind it.
Kittridge: In short... THE KEY IS A BOMB!!!
Cheese 'n Onions defiantly stand in front of the Doomsday Clock and raise their middle fingers to the cheering crowd. Mike Rotch begins to insert the key that will obliterate all life on earth.
Slate: A bomb? (brief pause) Oh. (brief pause) Cool. (Slate presses the red button.)
In the blink of an eye, Cheese 'n Onions and the Doomsday Clock are enveloped in a blinding white light and a loud explosion that rocks the stage. When the smoke clears, the only thing remaining is a large hole in the stage floor. The audience cheers.
Skipster: (to Barry) Wow! That was quick!
Barry: Ladies and gentlemen! We have all just witnessed an historical event! I must've read that script wrong, because what I meant to say earlier was that this will go in the Guinness Book Of World Records as the shortest concert in the history of the world! Thank you, and have a great day!
The music swells through the P.A. system, and after more wild applause, the audience dutifully begins to file out.